Archive Page 024

RII 2005-07-07

The other night we were sitting around Denny's at 3:00 in the morning (like you do) and the subject turned to Christian Scientists, such as loveable Hollywood actor John Travolta.  And probably also that guy that believed that the aliens were coming in that comet.  Anyway, we were trying to think about why anyone would want to be a CS.  Someone mentioned that they have some sort of mechanical washing machine or bubble that could take away your sin.  Then in one of the best straight-faced lines ever, someone replied, "Hey, I want a mechanical sin-eating bubble".  That became the best line anyone had said that week, replacing what became the second best line, "Don't screw with birds" (don't ask).  

I also heard that Scott Peterson was going to write a weight loss book while in prison.  I think it's going to be called, "How to lose 150 pounds while fishing".  Or I could be making that up.  Either way, you know you'd read it.  Have they killed him yet?  Be sure to let me know when they do.  I want to check him off my list.  No, not some hit list, just my phonebook.  That's just one more number I don't have to deal with.

I also come to you today with a movie review.  Yeah, yeah, I know it's a little late , but here is my review of...Splash?  No just kidding, here's my review of Mr. and Mrs. Smith.  3 out of 5 stars.  Angelina Jolie = Hot.  Brad Pitt = Hot.  Vince Vaughn, while not Hot, is still one of the best part of the movie.  The action is kickin' (is that a word?) and there are a lot of good moments.  It's not as good as the new Batman, but it's better than Fantastic Four is going to be, and a hell of a lot better than that stupid Jamie Fox movie that's coming out.  Stupid plane movie.  What were they thinking?  Ironically, that's also relates to this week's horoscope: "You too wish to attempt to make a dumb plane movie starring Jamie Fox.  Don't."

Your lucky number, 6.

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