STRIP MALL       posted 02-24-2006
 MISCELLANEOUS       posted 02-16-2006

Archive Page 039

Meet the Characters

RII 2006-02-16

Last week I posted a new cartoon. I did the same thing this week. Last week I listed some of the amusing things that G. W. Bush has said. However, in order to keep myself from becoming a political commentator I won’t discuss politics this week. I won’t discuss how our Vice President, the man we entrust with…whatever we entrust him with, managed to shoot someone. I won’t discuss the fact that he was under the mistaken assumption that this someone was a bird, and not, in fact, a 78-year old millionaire attorney. I won’t discuss the fact that Cheney took aim with his 28-gauge, sissy-shotgun, and pulled the trigger with extreme prejudice. I won’t discuss the fact that the V.P. is lucky that he wasn’t using a manly* (i.e. “real”) gun, or the world would be short one 78-year old millionaire attorney. What I will discuss is e-mail. Specifically, crap I don’t want. Here my pet peeves (Part One):

(1) Ads. Don’t want them, don’t need them. I don’t need to know the hottest deals from eBay. I don’t need to enlarge my penis. I’m happy with my breast size (although they could be firmer…), and I don’t need to know what the market or the stars hold in store for me.

(2) Chain letters. I will delete, with the same prejudice our V.P. uses when shooting millionaires, any and all letters that ask me to forward this on to [X] number of friends. I don’t care if the message is sweet and tender, I don’t care if it has a cool picture of Ultra-Man: it’s going away. If you just want me to see a fun picture, cut it out, and paste it in a new e-mail, so I can feel like it’s just for me. And not some mass market piece of SPAM.

(3) PEOPLE SHOUTING AT ME. All caps is rude, and stupid. YO, MN. WHT UP? MY GF THINKS YOUR THE BEST. MY PO SAYS THAT WEHN I GET OUTTA JAIL I CAN BE JUST LIKE U!

To be continued…

*I say manly, but this is probably insulting to women everywhere, because even a little girl with no arms could fire a gun more powerful than a 28-guage.

RII 2006-02-23

It’s the one-year anniversary of the site!! Isn’t that fantastic? It's also the anniversary that almost wasn't! I went to the site tonight and guess what I found? I found that some smart individual (like Jessica Simpson smart), had accidentally let someone else use my domain name. It was called "a slight problem". I informed my webservice that a temporary outage is a slight problem. Being over bandwidth is a slight problem. Going to www.OnTheSubjectOf.com and finding some dumbass' fruity-green shopping site instead of your favorite kick ass cartoon site, on the other hand, is a big F-ing problem!

Anyway, in remembrance of a wonderful first year, take a moment and vote for your favorite cartoon. I would really appreciate the feedback, and it will also help me provide the highest quality cartoons for my literally tens of fans out there.But for now, take a moment and reminisce.

We’ve had some good times, haven’t we this past year? Zombies, wild animals, nudity, drunkenness, pop culture icons…and that’s only the first month! Imagine what the future holds. You can feel good that you got in on a good thing on the ground floor. 10 years from now we’ll know who the real fans are.

 

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