|Rhona and the Magic Handsoap posted 04-14-2012|
|The Wise posted 01-26-2012|
Archive Page 075
On the Subject of…Birds. Angry birds.
I was speaking with a friend a while back about the game Angry Birds (R) and he mentioned that clearly the video game was a terrorist training simulator. It teaches everyone the valuable lesson that if someone makes you angry enough, you should violently throw yourself or your friends at their homes or places of business, sometimes using explosives. But look at what else it teaches you:
Hand-Eye Coordination. You know this is the truth the first time you fire a helpless bird the wrong way or straight up. The only difference here is that you can make the same mistakes over and over and not get fired – they keep letting you use that slingshot! Where else is that true anywhere else in life? I mean besides government.
Physics. You know – trajectories and shit.
Tactics. How can I use one bird to inflict maximum destruction? Which is the load-bearing pig? What defenses is he raising? If I attack head on will he flank? Maybe I should do this on a tablet.
Compassion. You want to kill as few of your precious birds as possible to achieve your objective. Maybe some do it for the points, but I’d like to think of it as caring.
Just look at her HANDS,
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