Due to literally tens of requests, I have decided to post my bio so that everyone may know who I am and what I am about.

ME

INFLUENCES

No beating around the bush here.  I'm a giant nerd.  I guess all that starts with my humble beginnings.

I was born in a damp, cold cardboard box in Connecticut.  Or a hospital in St. Louis, it's hard to say, it was a long time ago.  How long ago?  It has been a little more than a quarter of a century since my birth.  I spent a great deal of that time hoping for something amazing to happen to me, like Neo in "the Matrix", only less Keanu Reeves and more...and just less Keanu Reeves.  I always wished that I had some super power and therefore wasted a lot of time in science fiction clubs and reading books.  Pffftt, books!  What have they ever done for me?  Transport me to untold realms of knowledge and wonder maybe? Some of the books that have influenced me the most are:  Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Lord of the Rings, the Terry Pratchet collection, Alice in Wonderland, and Jurassic Park.  Beyond this I also read a lot of comics/cartoons such as: The Far Side, Calvin and Hobbes, and Dilbert.  Because I was born in 1980, and my dad worked for a major computer company, we had some of the first PC computers and text based video games.  This forced me to actually imagine things.  You should try it.  Games that have influenced me, or are at least worth mentioning because they are so damn cool, include: Goldeneye, GTA, every Star Wars game ever (at least the ones where you get a lightsaber), These are some outlets from which I drew my sense of humor and imagination, but I would be remiss to forget the power of movies and television's warming glow.

I grew up with a lot of TV shows and movies, but I'm going to run through the gamut of the best and the funniest:  the Simpsons, Family Guy, the Muppet Show, Star Wars, LoTR, Futurama, Aqua Teen HF, SNL, Billy Madison, Happy Gilmore, Tommy Boy, Black Sheep, the Professional, the Crow, Fight Club, Indiana Jones, Kill Bill, the Adams Family, Harry Potter, Kung Fu TLC, MacGyver, Monty Python and many more.

You may have begun to see where some of my sense of humor and timing have come from, but funny is made up of more than that.  There are more dimensions.  Surprise is funny, exaggeration is funny, meanness is funny, and so are things that are bitter, cynical, and sarcastic.  While the former come from imagination and sense of humor, the latter come from working in retail sales.  At least that's what I've seen.

It's amazing that I am as patient as I am given that I'm sure I have ADD. Having good friends that will make fun of life with you really helps. I love going to the gym...on account of I like the extra energy I have and having a little bit of muscle helps with the ladies.

So what else is there to say? I like biology, animals, physics and psychology. I like talking about stocks and bonds and financial matters....pretty much anything to do with science or money fascinates me. I'm not a dancer and I can't sing. I express my creativity by writing, drawing and saying witty things at just the right time. Like when someone says something that they hope - and pray - that no one heard because it was amazingly stupid...that's when I jump in like a superhero.

Age: 28

Degrees: Masters in Business; B.S. in Biology, minors in art and chemistry.

Work: I have a good job in the financial industry.

Where I Live: I have a house in St. Louis County. It may or may not be beige.

Hobbies/Pastimes: Hanging out with my friends, going to the gym, art, reading, poker, video games, watching movies, magic tricks, listening to music.

Likes: Comedies, action movies, viral videos, hot chocolate (Starbucks is my favorite - even if it costs more per gallon than gas), cake, one-hit wonders, sarcasm, books.

Dislikes: Ham, grape soda, (see also my pet peeves below).

Pet Peeves:  Mullets, People who have mullets, people who don't signal when they drive, idiots, idiots who ask your advice (but who don't actually want your advice).

Settling a score : Ninjas are superior to pirates. Ninjas are superior to vampires (who are also superior to pirates). They're all better than Carrot Top. Vampires are more charming than ninjas, but ninjas don't bother with things like "talking" and "expressing their feelings". If a vampire is hunting you...you'll know because there will be a vampire hunting you. If a ninja is hunting you...you'll know because you are dead.

That's all for now.  I'll update it as time goes on.  Send in questions and I may put the answers here for all to see.  Go to the "contact me" page to send an e-mail.  I don't care what the question is.  Ask me what kind of pizza I like even.