SHORT PLAY 37
St. Patrick – (striding confidently into the town) I’ve done it chaps!
Commoner 1 – Who the bloody ‘ell are you, and what ‘ave yeh done?
St. Patrick – Why, I’m Patrick, and I’ve done something amazing!
Commoner 1 – Why aren’cha wearin’ any pants?
St. Patrick – Later my good man, later! For now it is time for incredible news! I have driven all the snakes out of Ireland!
Commoner 2 – What…with yer pants?
Commoner 1 – (Incredulously) Snakes?!?! Ireland ‘asn’t got any snakes laddie.
St. Patrick – Not anymore! I’ll be made a saint for sure!
Commoner 1 – Now come on, you can’t expect us teh believe that!
Commoner 2 – ‘old on, I saw a snake once.
Commoner 1 – Wha-? When did you ever see a snake?
Commoner 2 – Oh, I’ve seen lotsa snakes. I woulda sworn this place used ter be crawlin’ with ‘em.
Commoner 1 – It di’not!
St. Patrick – (Interrupting) I also invented the green beer and the prostitute. Care to join me?
Commoners – (shrugging) Alrigh’
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