(An average office building)

Worker – (cheerfully to coworker) Hey, want to head down to the docks tonight and grab a drink with the team?

Coworker – What docks?

Worker – (puzzled) You know…the docks. The old…pier?

Coworker – (quizzically) There’s no pier…

Worker – (really puzzled) Really…not a…wharf or anything? I could have sworn…

Coworker – Maybe they’re hidden behind the hundreds of miles of prairie as far as the eye can see. You’re probably thinking of the old barn.

Worker – Then that mermaid I slept with…

Coworker – (finishing the sentence) … was a goat.

Worker – (horrified) Oh god! I feel dirty.

Coworker – That’s what happens when you sleep with a goat.

Worker – (runs off crying)


(Later down at the docks...)

Random Drunk Team Member 1 – (swirling his drink) I’m shure gladd Worker didn’ come. That guy ish a giant loser.

Random Drunk Team Member 2 – (staggering up to the bar) Plush he shmells like fish. (hiccups)

Now Drunken Coworker – (polishes off her drink) Yur tellin’ me.

Rest of the Team – (as a group) Tequila shots!!!


(Just offshore)

Mermaid – (feels rejected)

If you liked this, then you're as messed up as I am.

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