Animals       posted 10-17-2009
World Domination       posted 12-06-2009

Archive Page 072

Meet the Characters


On the Subject of…Spaceships and Dynamite

Spaceships come into play here because there was a story of a little boy who supposedly flew away in his parents' and dynamite comes into play here because it's what made Alfred Nobel all of his money and what later caused him to regret a life dedicated to destruction and set up the Nobel Prizes.

While I'm very happy for our President that he won such a prestigious award, I find it suspect that the deadline for award nomination was Feb 1, and that he was sworn into office on Jan 20 - and he won. Before that he was a senator and I don't remember him doing anything greater than any other senator. As far as I know he spent the first 11 days trying to remember the musical notes from Close Encounters of the Third Kind.

Speaking of spaceships - do you see what just happened there? I used a flawless transition to move from talking about the Nobel Prize to spaceships, or at the very least experimental aircraft and derelict parents - did you hear about the six-year-old boy who supposedly stole away in his parents UFO-reminiscent weather balloon and captured the nation's attention for far too long? Longer than his parents were ever famous on Wife Swap. It turns out that the boy actually hid in a box in the attic for a few hours because he was scared of being punished. Bullshit. My guess is that the parents made him do it because they are sick people with delusions that they're destined to be reality show stars. They can argue with that, of course, however there's only one of two outcomes (1) they're derelict parents who allowed their six-year-old access to a balloon capable of reaching heights of 8,000 feet without locking it up, or (2) they engineered the whole thing. Either way I think that they need to be charged with something and then have to pay for (1) the cost of the air force, police, FAA, etc. involvement and (2) wasting my time. The only person who is happy about this is our president because it took some of the heat off of the economy and the healthcare bill. Plus the $1.4 million dollar thing.

D - E - C - C - G,




On the Subject of…Games alcoholics play

Wow. It has been a little while, hasn’t it? I’ve been pretty busy with this and that and one of those things is watching my friends play drinking games. You see, drinking games are even better as a spectator, because you’re sober enough to see people spiral into stupor. One game in particular is really fun. It’s called Kings and in it you flip over cards and basically drink a lot. In some ways it’s like watching wheel of fortune and taking a drink every time someone spins the wheel. Or Pat is on the screen. Or someone buys a vowel. Or solves the puzzle. I have never had so much fun reffing a sport before. F-off beer pong, you’re a one-trick pony. In Kings you can create your own rules.

But it brings up an interesting topic, which brings me to Ron’s Rule of Life #145: When you are given the opportunity to create a new rule in a drinking game and the player’s are already drunk, creating a rule that mandates that every sentence from that point on MUST have at least one curse word in it is a bad idea. I did learn some new words though. A much better rule is NO cursing. When that rule’s in effect, some people are going to get really messed up.

Overall, it was a pretty good time. For all the people who missed it, I’m sure it’s not the last time, because the way I see it, there’s more Saturdays in the future. I love my friends.

The difference is drinkability,



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