World Domination       posted 01-17-2012
The Wise       posted 01-26-2012

Archive Page 074

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On the Subject of…Resolutions

Yawn! My, what a nap that was. What year is it? 2012 already? Moon Pies. What a time to be alive. No, just kidding, I know what year it is; I just haven’t updated the site in a while. I mean – how do you top a four page manifesto about cookies?!?

So what brought me out of my Rip Van Winkle-like slumber to post again? Well, I had to tell someone my New Year’s Resolution and most of my friends have been eaten by zombies. Unfortunately the zombies ate all the sparkling vampires too, so now THEY sparkle, but at least they ate all the sparkling vampires. Everything in balance.

My New Year’s Resolution for 2012, besides keeping one, distinct train of thought without digressing, was to be more positive and to that end I’m introducing a new feature to this site – Things That Can (a) Go to Hell, (b) Fuck Themselves or (c) Die. I have several entries for today in no particular order:

Noises on the radio that make me freak out when I’m in traffic. Sirens, grinding noises, weird whistles, etc.

Having to wait a year or more to see a movie from the time the hype and previews start then having to pay $115 to see it.

The fact that every movie is being made in 3D and even those need stupid glasses.

People who defend Michael Bay movies other than Bad Boys.

Political debates where all the candidates do is lie so that we’ll vote for them over someone who lied so we would vote for them.

People who analyze political debates as if we need help analyzing what we just heard.

The people who cause TV networks to realize that, oh shit, we do need people to help those people make sense of what they just heard. Kaching!

People who make annoying lists.

Don’t you feel more upbeat already?!? I think I can keep this one this year. My other option was to update this site more often. Right….

Every day I’m shuffl’n,


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