RESTAURANTS       posted 02-09-2006
ANIMALS       posted 02-02-2006
Archive Page 038

Meet the Characters

RII 2006-02-02

I put a new cartoon on the new cartoons page (conveniently) and I also recreated the archive page. When I started the site, I didn’t look far enough ahead, and didn’t realize how long the page would have to be in order to scroll through all the cartoons, so I decided to split the pages. I think I will do yearly sections, so future readers, nostalgic readers, and anthropologists in the 2432 can look back and see how my cartoons have progressed over time (i.e. became greater than even the Beatles, who were better than Jesus, who was better than all the lesser deities – in effect, making my cartoons better than the lesser gods). Think Hephaestus or Persephone.

Speaking of Queens of the Underworld, it’s tax time again! What a bunch of fun that is. Last year, I ended up owing the state $1.00, which ended up costing about $1.40 when including the price of an envelope and a stamp. That made me mad. I thought about sending the state a check for the wrong amount, like 80 cents, just to watch them spend 40 cents to let me know that I still owed them 20 cents. I thought better of this, because messing with the IRS or DOR is probably not a good thing to do. Someone suggested that to keep from having to pay postage I could put the IRS as the return address, and put a random mailing address in the middle, so that when it was undeliverable (because of no stamp), it would get sent to the IRS by default. What a great idea I thought! Keep the IRS happy by sending them their dollar, but commit postal fraud! It’s like that old riddle: “How can mailing a dollar to someone end you up in federal prison?” Now we know!

Your lucky number this week is equal to line 19 minus line 18, or line 17, whichever is greater. For further assistance, visit my tax advice page.

RII 2006-02-09

There’s a new cartoon out there about sandwiches, a subject I think we can all get behind. See, I bring people together. That’s my gift. As Will Ferrell once said as a fake G.W. Bush, “I’m not a divider, I’m a unificator.”

Speaking of Bushisms, here are four more gems. Republican or Democrat, love the guy or hate him, you have to find these amusing:

Speaking of the deaths in Iraq he said, "It is a time of sorrow and sadness when we lose a loss of life. Our enemies in Iraq are very resourceful, they never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we

As a Harvard man, our president takes a firm stand on the importance of a solid educational background. I think he summed up the problem with the country's education system quite well when he said, “The illiteracy level of our children are appalling”. (I had to fight my spellchecker to keep that one)

Must…kill…teleprompter. “And so, in my last State of the -- my State of the Union -- or state -- my speech to the nation, whatever you want to call it, speech to the nation -- I asked Americans to give 4,000 years -- 4,000 hours over the next -- the rest of your life -- of service to America. That's what I asked -- 4,000 hours.” (I didn’t believe this at first, but found it at CNN Speech Transcripts)

Finally, my favorite Bush quote ever, happens to be on the subject of free societies. The president had this to say, “Free societies are hopeful societies. And free societies will be allies against these hateful few who have no conscience, who kill at the whim of a hat.”

Your horoscope for this week: You will be killed at the whim of a hat.


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